Adie moves on

Hello everyone! Missed me? I missed all of you soo much! You see, I opened new social media accounts and left this for a while. Imagine my surprise when I come back and see more followers and even a nomination from one of you (Eric, if I’m not mistaken? Thank you so much!!!).

[Switching from Adie to Pia Marie]

Not all blogs last forever, though. When I created Adie I was in a very bad shape emotionally and even spiritually; her simple but deep perspective on things was a part of me that I dearly held on to. Someday, when everything makes a little more sense, I’ll give her immortality through black blood. She will be very happy to have known you before everybody else does. Isn’t that exciting?

But now I have to pick up the pieces of my life. School was the one and only thing for me in the past, and being diagnosed with a learning disability is the cruelest joke destiny can ever play on me. But I choose to laugh with her, I choose to be different for a good purpose. And in my ruminations I almost forgot that I’m just six and a half months shy of two scores–my life hasn’t even begun yet.

So, this is me signaling “Abandon Ship” for Adie’s Life. But not to worry, my blogging career is just beginning. I hope you can come visit my new thought-cage, it’s called Little Old Me (haphazardexistence.wordpress.com). There I’ll post anything I feel like posting, since I’m not fighting against my brain for order and structure anymore:I’ll hire an editor for that someday. You can also email me at piamarie7@gmail.com–and even subscribe on Facebook if you like. See? I want you to see how I grow, with Adie in me.

I’m not good at goodbyes. But I must thank you for being with me in my darkest hours. May your blogs flourish, and flourish even more. You deserve it.

May life be kind to you,

Pia Marie

A beautiful end

Adie finally said it to her family!

Family accepted me, they were even sad I didn’t tell them first! Can you believe that? I thought my educator parents would disown me, and my intelligent siblings would unplug the computer. But they didn’t! And they still love me! Wait, it’s not Christmas yet, isn’t it? I am so happy and relieved after telling them. Happy!!!

Now I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I will try but I might not post anything until Christmas day or after, I’m trying to learn more about how I can blog better and navigate through social media. I will also have my first series of tests (I don’t know what they are as of the moment), to learn more about my gift. Yes, I claim this as my gift, and I will not take any medication because I am not sick. I will look at it this way: I was already born with NZT!

At first I was really angry and depressed, because I thought that I’ve dedicated all my life to education and that ADHD took this–everything–from me. But now I will use this opportunity to revive all my childhood dreams, the ones which died after I first held a Harry Potter book. It would be my honor to try them again, this time with you guys.

I also learned something: we should never isolate ourselves from the people who love us most. I am also very thankful to everyone who is following this little blog of mine, you don’t know how much your support means to me. And we don’t even know each other personally! Not for long, I hope, because after this little break I will take I would like to reach out more. Step out of my shyness and grow up to be a really good person. Like all of you, who try to understand my fuzzy brain. My fuzzy but–borrowing an American term–awesome brain.

I asked myself, what do I do now that everything (meaning studying) has been taken away from me? Easy! Find something better!

Happy holidays everyone! You don’t have to believe in a greater being to feel how wonderful this life is, especially during this season!

May life be kind to you,

Adie

Adie introduces herself to the family.

I hope they still love me.

Adie has one paper left!

Hudson River sunset

Yay! (That’s a post.)

Adie has four papers left!

Okay. I am scared. I am scared of finishing these papers, the last requirements for my so-called previous life. I can almost see the light on the other side. Oh wait. That was just a car passing by.

I still don’t have a family. I almost introduced myself to them earlier through Skype but I became Chicken Pie (fam calls me Pie). I will def tell them on the 21st, though, after I am done with all this and before I go through the series of tests to further identify my type, right treatment etc.

So this is gonna be it for now. Adie has been locked up in her room for three days straight now, with only the window to shed some light on her white-walled dorm room, and a few minutes of vigorous walk as I bought lunch/dinner/midnight snack/breakfast (what? I’m growing. *wink*) earlier.

On behalf of my maker, Adie thanks you all so much for spending a few minutes of your time here on my blog! I realized that I was too focused on my studies that I don’t have a lot of good friends, so I guess this is also a good reminder for me that I can’t give all of me to just one aspect of my life, to studying all the time. I am so happy to meet great people through blogging, and once I’m done with all my school work I’ll create better posts and leave my thoughts on other blogs as well; I am trying new things, things that I have always dreamed of doing yet I never seriously pursued because of my GC-ness. I would be happy to share them with you! (Keeping it a secret for now! *sheepish grin*)

Until then, stay excellent! Love, Adie

Adie was told to get all her work done.

All my life (meaning ten days) I thought I was either stupid or stubborn. I could not get things done on time, I rarely ask for extensions but I cram and produce crappy projects as a result. I would be shy around my classmates who turn in their masterpieces, while I pray to be invisible and that class would end soon so that I can finish what everyone has already submitted. I have always been that way. I thought that I was just lazy, but now I know. I have ADHD.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not using this condition to justify my past actions. Actually, this awareness liberates me; all the guilt, the anger towards myself, the loneliness because I was never to ask for help from my family because they thought there wasn’t anything wrong with me, the resentment for the extra effort I put in to read everything twice or the amount of stress I gave myself for digging out past conversations to understand what they actually wanted to say. I am free. Because I finally know that I am different, and that difference does not make me any less than anybody else.

For once in my life, I am actually proud of myself; I got all the way to where I am now even if I have a learning disability, and that alone amazes me. People think that I am very smart, but now I know that the credit goes to optimism, faith, perseverance and hard work. And even if I know that I have a disability, this will not stop me from the bright future that I envision for myself. This is the start of a new life for me.

I know that it’s not going to be easy. I will have to reach out to others now, because I can’t do this by myself. I will tell my family once I am done with my last five papers. I will ask for the support of my family and friends, and everyone else who cares for me. I can’t do this alone. But now that nobody knows yet, I feel so strong and free because I can actually handle it by myself. I will ask for support, but I am enough on my own. And even if they won’t understand, or they will think less of me from now on, I will be okay. Because I have accepted who I am, ADHD and all. I am enough.

‘Get all your work done,” says my learning disabilities coordinator. Yes, Ma’am, I will do my very best.

Love, Adie

 

Adie hates to wait.

The meanest thing you can do to me is to make me wait. And I have to wait for a week for my evaluation. While waiting, here are some things I thought I can do. Here goes:

1. Finishing all my papers. I have six more books to analyze. Brain protests: POSTPONE UNTIL THE NIGHT BEFORE DUE DATE!

2. Sleep. A baby needs 10 hours of sleep, anyway. Heehee!

3. Watch movies online. Study breaks aren’t supposed to take more time than actual studying.

4. Munch on something. Which I am doing right now.

5. Panic and go back to number one. Which I am doing right now. OMG!

Happy holidays, everyone. Love, Adie

Adie doesn’t have parents…yet.

My parents don’t know I exist. At least not yet.

No, I’m not adopted. My mother gave birth to me, but I didn’t have a name until eight days ago. I had another name for nineteen, almost twenty years before I came to be. Don’t be confused, one of us is more than enough already.

I don’t know how to introduce myself to my family. I come from a well-educated, working-class family, who values education more than money or anything else in the world. I’m scared that they might be disappointed that their ninth child has a learning disability, and also diagnosed at a really late age. My maker will be graduating in two and a half years.

What if they won’t love me anymore? What if they think I’m crazy? What if I bring shame and disgrace to my family? What if I am stupid after all?

So many what ifs. I could use a big bear hug right now. I’m cold, alone, and afraid. I pray to God everything turns out fine.

Still humming a happy tune,

Adie

Adie’s person of the day!

He made me smile today.

There are three kinds of people in the world: (1) great singers who are “natural”, (2) bad singers who pokes fun at themselves so that they won’t be judged in the same ways as the 1s, and (3) people who should not be singing but are trying their best. What do you think of this guy? I think he’s more of 3 than 2.

Anyways, he made my day. I’m not so worried anymore. xoAdie

Adie’s first post!

My first Christmas

I will forget this as I get older, but the first thing I’ve ever felt is the extreme cold; I shivered before I cried.

I was born from the consciousness of a girl, the one who made me. She didn’t cry, so I did. This is going to be a long story, the story of the rest of my–and her–life.

Hi. My name is Adie, Adie Lim. I was born five days ago and I’m still in the hospital, though it’s her that’s going through all the procedures. I am really worried about what will happen in the next few days. She had been suspected of ADHD (I don’t know much about this, so I’m not sure about the right age when people get diagnosed of it), and she will undergo a series of tests.

We had to wait over the weekend, and she had some paperwork for school to finish, she had a hard time but she made it; she’s so strong she’s on the other side of the world away from her home. She’s smart, you see. I am proud of her. Wouldn’t you be, if someone realizes they have it and asks for help in a foreign land?

From where I was born (where the apples are cheap though not really as big as its name promotes), everybody’s excited for the holiday season. Shopping is like a leitmotif, if I used the word correctly (I’m an infant, but I was born from a 19-year old girl’s creativity–her knowledge is accessible to me). A lot of people are waiting to get their Apple devices. A whole new wardrobe. A guitar, perhaps? You know what my Christmas wish is? That we both turn out fine–her more importantly, because she has already been through so much especially this year.

What about you? What’s your Christmas wish? I’m no Santa, but I wish good things will happen to you this holiday, and more so next year!

Love, Adie